Linda Scaramella was working a call-centre job when a caller heard her accent, assumed she was White British, and told her it was finally nice to hear from a British person.
It’s a comment she’s heard in different forms for most of her life. Friends want her opinion on BLM as if she speaks for an entire community. Relatives on either side of her family explain her own culture back to her. People decide who she is before she’s said much of anything at all.
Linda is Black, Italian and Nigerian, an actor still working toward the roles she dreamed about as a kid, and, since March, a newlywed figuring out what a good marriage actually looks like day to day. These days she doesn’t bother trying to sum any of that up neatly.
In this edition of Women of Grass-Fields, she talks about learning to say no, the confidence she nearly talked herself out of as a teenager, and what it means to dare greatly without losing her softness along the way.
What are you building for yourself right now?
A successful career, the kind of acting jobs I always dreamed of as a child. I’m also trying to build a strong marriage; I just got married in March. We are trying to build strong foundations for our young marriage to flourish.
What is something you want for your life that you’re not willing to give up on?
I would say love, in all its facets. The love I have for my husband and the important people in my life. The love of acting. But also the love I have for myself. Hard work can lead to neglecting yourself in your determination to succeed; it’s always important to practise self-care, accept a compliment without diminishing your own light, and love your younger self as well as your current self.
What keeps you going when things aren’t happening as quickly as you’d like?
I’ve always had the philosophy that it all works out in the end. So, if things aren’t going well, you’re simply in the middle of a situation. Remember, the end is yet to come. This too shall pass.
What does choosing yourself mean to you?
I think it means saying no more often. By nature, I’m a giver. I give my time, forgiveness, energy, and parts of myself until there’s nothing left. I need to learn that saying no more means I am choosing myself more.
What’s something you’ve learned about yourself as you’ve gotten older?
I marvel at my ability to keep all my plates spinning at once. There have been weeks recently where every day I’ve had a new job, appointment, or meeting in a different area of the city. I was never late or forgot anything; I was always there, ready to face the day, even whilst going through pressure or difficulty.
Even at your busiest, Linda, you keep going. You are more resilient and stronger than you ever thought you were as a child.
What’s something you do now simply because it makes you happy?
I impulsively meet friends for a drink or coffee and joke about old times or rant. I never wait to see if people are free or interested before going to see an amazing theatre show; I do solo trips. I buy little treats and indulge, like crab meat or exotic fruits from M&S or Waitrose instead of Aldi and Lidl, which are my regular shops.
What does being a Black woman mean to you personally?
I think being a Black woman means having the world constantly challenging you to dare greatly. We can never be mediocre; we have to be exceptional.
I think others have struggled with my identity more than I ever have. I have felt people from both sides of my heritage patronise me with explanations about one of my cultures.
In my call-centre days, I had British people hear my accent, assume I was White British, and say, “It’s finally nice to hear from a British person.” Or I’d have friends ask me my opinion on BLM or protests.
All I know is that I am me. I am a Black Italian Nigerian. I am a great friend, a great partner. And I, too, like all other Black women, dare greatly.
What’s something about your culture or upbringing that you want to carry with you for the rest of your life?
I will always carry the recipes I was raised on, the local, authentic regional food. What’s known as “working-class” food, but is the deepest comfort the soul could ask for.
There is also a beauty there, a way of life. We call it dolce far niente, the sweetness of doing nothing. It makes you stop and enjoy the simplest details. I feel like I try to remind myself every day to embrace that way of life.
Is there anything you appreciate about your identity now that you didn’t fully appreciate when you were younger?
I think there is a real boldness in my identity, and that comes from a confidence that I tried to downplay and somehow lost along the way.
Especially in my teenage years, I tried to be sassy, introverted, or loud to overcompensate. Now I try to just be. And the closer I feel to myself, the more my confidence grows.
How would you describe your personal style in three words?
Vintage, detail-oriented, and colourful.
Who do you actually dress for?
I have always dressed for me. I’ve had men in the past comment that I wear too many blazers or dress too quirkily to be conventionally attractive. I’ve never cared!
I normally see pieces and like that they’re a reference to something I remember. They give me nostalgia or joy. I often think of the pieces in my wardrobe as having their own character. It’s the actor in me.
What’s one fashion rule you don’t believe in?
Why limit yourself to one bold colour or pattern in your outfit, while the rest of your pieces have to be neutrals?
Have colours and patterns that go together in a colour palette, harmonise, or, controversially, even clash! Just wear something with enough confidence, and everyone will say it’s chic.
Where do you see yourself in five years?
In five years’ time, I want to be a jobbing actor who goes from project to project, no longer needing the side hustles and being financially independent.
I want to have a loving home for me and my husband to live in, a place that we can always call home and be proud of. I want to continue having loving relationships and friendships with the people in my life.
These are the solid hopes I wish for. The rest of the blessings that come will be the icing on top of my cake.
What’s something you haven’t done yet that you really want to experience?
I want to go to a dance class, salsa or samba, with my husband. We haven’t had the chance to be silly together for a little while, and I would love for us to do something different from our everyday life.
I also want to travel the world with him. I get to go to so many different, interesting places, but I’m always working. I would love to experience new cultures side by side with my husband.
What kind of woman are you becoming?
Year by year, I am finding out more about myself. I see this as a constant evolution of self, and I never want to label it. I am willing to take myself along for the ride and see where I end up.
I just wish for calmness, happiness, and self-reassurance. At my core, I want those values for my future self.
Linda’s story doesn’t really wrap up into a neat lesson, and that feels about right. She’s still working things out: the marriage, the career, which parts of herself to lead with in a room. Most of us are.
Women of Grass-Fields is a community and a space for women to exist fully, be seen, and be celebrated in every stage of their becoming. Tell us in the comments: what part of Linda’s story felt like your story too?
Want to be featured in Women of Grass-Fields? Follow and tag us on social media @womenofgf, or email us at women@grass-fields.co.uk.
