Emma Osman starts most mornings on the floor. Breath work. Meditation. A journal she actually writes in.
She's not doing any of it for how it looks. She's doing it because she got tired of running on empty and calling it fine.
By day, she works in tech, sitting between partners and early-stage startups, helping them get past the paperwork and jargon to the support that actually moves a business forward.
"There's one thing I will never do, and that's put myself in positions where I am betraying myself," she says. That's the whole thing for her. Not a big declaration. Just a rule she keeps.
Her mother is Jamaican. Her father is Sudanese and white British. Between the two, Emma has spent years working out which parts of that inheritance to carry forward, and coming to appreciate pieces of her identity she once kept at arm's length. Here's what she told us about it, and about the discipline it's taken to stop abandoning herself for anyone else.
What are you building for yourself right now?
I am currently building a healthy nervous system, a regulated nervous system. And what that looks like is breath work every day, meditation, journaling, boundaries, because I feel when you build something on a foundation that is incredibly strong, then you can truly create. And I think one day I would love to use the skills I've learned to build myself to help others. I'm not sure what that is just yet, but yeah, that would be my dream and aspiration.
What is something in your life that you're not willing to give up on?
I think a healthy self-esteem, and I think a healthy self-esteem comes from having everything that you need in this life coming from yourself. Obviously we need food, we need shelter, we need human connection. But when you are constantly searching for things outside of yourself, you will always feel a desire and a hunger that will never fully be quenched.
So when you take that discipline to sit in pain or to be curious about knowing yourself deeper, there's one thing that I will never do, and that's put myself in positions where I am betraying myself. That is one thing I will not let go of in this lifetime. Not to betray myself, and to commit to constantly growing a healthy self-esteem.
What keeps you going when things aren't happening as quickly as you'd like?
Knowing that there's always a lesson in everything. Sometimes rejection is protection. I know it's a cheesy saying, but I've started enjoying when I get a no, and getting curious about what it's teaching me.
Okay, this isn't happening as quickly as I like. We're getting blockers. Maybe this is a redirection. And if I'm doing the right things, and I'm being disciplined, and I'm loving myself, then every single redirection I've had has always led me to a place where I actually end up being happier. So now I get excited when there's a blocker or something isn't working out the way it's meant to.
What does being a Black woman mean to you personally?
I'm going to speak on the Black woman that has helped shape me, and that's my mother. She's a Jamaican woman. My dad's Sudanese and white British, my mum's Jamaican. And my mum comes from a background where if she has nothing, she can make so much happen with nothing.
I think being able to have that level of creation and creativity when you have no resources is so inherently beautiful. I'm not going to call it a strong Black woman thing exactly, I think they all play a part in it, but I think it's the real meaning of love and feeling alive. So for me, being a Black woman is creation.
What's something about your culture or upbringing you want to carry with you for the rest of your life?
There's a saying: work like a Jamaican.
When I was younger, I used to hate that I would get home from school and my mum would make us clean. We didn't really get to rest, maybe a couple of minutes of TV, but not really, we had to clean. Back then I'd be like, oh my gosh, I'm always so tired, I'm exhausted. But now I think it's really helped instill a good work ethic in me. I might have people who are cleverer than me, or more creative than me, but no one can outwork me.
Was there a part of your identity you didn't feel connected to growing up, but have since come to embrace?
When I was younger, I didn't really connect to my Sudanese culture, because my dad came over to the UK when he was two. He never knew his real dad, and he's half English. It wasn't until I came to London, I'm from up north originally, that people would ask me, are you Ethiopian, are you Eritrean, are you Sudanese. And I thought, wow, even though I've not had this massive connection to my Sudanese culture, I need to connect to it.
When I met people from Sudan, it made me realise how, even though my dad wasn't raised there, he's incredibly Sudanese, really gentle and kind and relaxed. So now I really embrace it. I'm proud to have that connection to Sudan in me. That's something I embrace now that I didn't really reconnect with when I was younger.
Emma's still building it, one breath, one boundary at a time. No dramatic ending. Just the daily work of not betraying yourself.
Women of Grass-Fields is a community and a space for women to exist fully, be seen, and be celebrated in every stage of their becoming. Tell us in the comments: what part of Emma's story felt like your story too?
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